Sunday, December 05, 2004

Perversions with Puppy

I was looking through the latest issue of Vogue today when colorful pictures of Paris Hilton caught my attention, and at the first page! It was a 3-picture spread for Guess and Paris looked as gorgeous as ever. However, in the last shot I was a bit amazed. Paris was reclining on a chair by the pool with her legs spread open. Her back was arched and her lips were a bit parted hinting that she was in some sort of pleasure. That's not much I agree but right between her legs...ok right at her CROTCH... was her cute little dog nestled quite comfortably. Behold, the new mainstream erotica. As of late, I've been seeing quite a bit in magazines and on TV of people with their animals. Cuddling and canoodling, kissing and hugging, licking and fingering...ok maybe not that extreme but you never know...I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, is beastiality supposed to be glamorous?

The Guess ad took me back a couple of years when me and my friend went to another friend's house. We'll just call her Dorothy Dogdicker for the sake of anonymity. Dorothy's little vivacious (don't ask me what breed, all I know is small and very furry) dog was more hyper than usual. We were safe, though, he was neutered. But to me and my friend's surprise he was humping everything in sight.

"Howcome he still humps?" asked my concerned friend. Dorothy told us that dogs still have the urge to hump after being neutered, but they don't have anything to ejaculate.


The Discovery Channel this sure wasn't. Yeah, I wish I was safely watching from home. The lil' pup was getting a lot more rowdy now. Dorothy kept on yelling at him and getting him off of her. After constantly being roughed up over and over by the little ass-fluff she finally succumbed. She did something terribly strange...something that she was obviously conditioned to do by the dog. She made a hole with her fingers, kind of like an open fist as the dog hurriedly mounted himself atop her submissive arm and proceeded to fuck the living shit out of her hand.

I will never witness such raw passion in my life.

Me and my friend were just sitting there the entire time. We were trying to act normal, with looks of indifference on our faces, cause you know, there's nothing more normal than getting your hand dicked by your dog.

We finally made it out of Dorothy Dogdicker's house. As we were walking out we were still trying to act as though everything was peachy. We got in my friend's car and started off to my house. When we got there I assured my friend I wouldn't force her to watch me make out with my gold fish.