Thursday, May 17, 2007

Rita's Super Amazing Fantastic Uber-Fast Hollywood Weight-Loss Program!!! New and Improved!! Only exercise twice a month!!!!

There is a ridiculous amount of books being sold telling us how to lose weight with detailed instructions on what exactly to eat, how much to eat, when to eat, and sometimes how to eat (with chopsticks, chew slower), and how and when to exercise. There are so many, teaching so many different and opposing methods that really, they just all cancel each other out.

Why not just do what works for you? Why can't you just look at what you've tried and what has or hasn't worked and just take it from there? You're not that much of a sheepling, are you?

Since everyone can write a book about this bullshit, I'd like to write my own as well. Better yet, I wanna write a book about what DOESN'T work. Yeeaaaaahh!!! Oh yeah. I'm gonna gather a bunch of stories together about times where I didn't exactly exercise good will power and ate everything like a shameless food-whore with no remorse only to discover after weighing myself the next day that I'd gained three pounds. Now THAT'S quality health literature, not that mediocre doctor written and backed garbage.

This should be a compilation of stories, from all over the U.S. Why the U.S. you ask silently under your breath? Simple, it's the fattest-fuck country in the world.

Let's begin this journey of nationwide enlightenment together. This could be very big. If you're an American reading this, there's a 64% chance you're probably big. So YOU'RE big, this project could be big, let's come together!!! Send me your stories and I'll post them on here. It could be anything regarding a bad habit you have with food and/or exercise. For example, having a tiny salad just so you can douse it in dressing, or becoming vegetarian as an excuse to gorge on carbohydrates, or nearly starving all day just to end up binging at night...which I myself am guilty of...among other things.

Amuse me and yourself and see where this takes you. If nothing but to get it off your chest. Send 'em in!!!


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